That’s me in the corner, losing my identity

Pink Girl Baby Clothes

Remember in the ‘old days’ when you were cool? You went to gigs, stayed out late, dyed your hair strange colours, shopped in Topshop and generally didn’t have a care in the world (apart from having to go to work with your ears still ringing from the gig you went to last night)

Then you had kids.

Your world changed overnight, and if you were anything like me, very unexpectedly! I was in no way prepared for what happened when my little man entered the world. Yes, I’d read (a few) articles and watched some videos about how to bath your baby and change their nappy. But they don’t tell you how all consuming having a newborn is, especially your first. None of the ‘sleep when they sleep’ – there was washing to put on, bottles to sterilise and housework to do (quite badly to be honest).

When the newborn stage is over, it’s weaning, teething, sleep training, tantrums, potty training etc. etc. You might decide it’s a good idea to have another one, and the cycle starts again, plus you’re dealing with all the growing up things with the older one, like starting school, teeth falling out, class party politics and tantrums make an unwelcome return.

Before you know it, five years have gone past and like the meme says, you’re still wearing the pants you had before you were pregnant (alright, maybe it’s not that bad, but I am still wearing the ‘fat jeans’ I bought from M&S after my second was born……two and a half years ago). You’re just Mum, and it feels weird when people call you by your actual name (and sometimes you forget what your name is, and tell the dentist that it’s Harry’s mum)

Who am I?

But there comes a sweet moment when you can sit down by yourself and think, OK, let’s get back to being ME some of the time. The kids can look after themselves a bit more now and its time for some proper self-care.

It might be that it’s a new version of you these days. I’m not sure I want to shop in Topshop anymore but that’s OK, H&M still fits and I’m not ready for M&S Classic just yet. It might be something as simple as dyeing your hair or getting your nails done, or maybe it’s something you’ve always wanted to do (like getting a tattoo, or three…..more on that another time)

Perhaps you want to get fit, lose a bit of weight, gain a bit more confidence. Believe me, once you’ve started, you won’t want to stop! I’m not talking full makeover territory here, or buying a whole load of new stuff that you can’t really afford. Just thinking about things in a different way – you are a person, not just mum, in fact you are an incredible person because you are you AND a mum.

A quick shout out to my favourite places for a non-mum pick-me-up – Nay Nays for awesome nails, lashes and waxing and Richard John for fabulous hair pampering and Indian head massages (amongst many other beauty treats).

Mudpie Fridays
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10 thoughts on “That’s me in the corner, losing my identity

  1. A good manicure and a massage and I start to remember who I am. I think the biggest boost I get is when I go out with my girlfriends… and when I say out, I really mean round to one our houses;) and have a real laugh with them. They are my anchor to the real me x
    Mainy

  2. Felt like I wrote this myself. I look in the mirror and don’t even recognise myself anymore, never mind, who I am now inside. Currently trying to have some me time and read some blogs, but my toddler is screeching in the background and my glass of wine has left me feeling anxious. Sod’s law. Maybe this is the new me, haha. Great thought-provoking piece. I would love, love, love to hear more about waist training as my Mummy Tummy is getting me down. my email is renee@mummystyle.co.uk x

  3. I’m not sure I was ever ‘cool’ before my first was born. However, I can completely agree that you can very easily loose yourself when you become a parent. All of a sudden, you have someone else to look after and they take priority. Great blog post!

    Jemma x

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